Body Awareness - Say No When It Matters

September 30, 2017

 

I talk to many clients each day in my office who are stressed, overbooked and unhappy with some aspect of their health or their life. Many tell me how they are very busy each day, week and month. I am so grateful that they are able to come in to see me. That they have been able to prioritize an hour of acupuncture or reiki. I know that time is precious for all of us.

 

Some still struggle to take steps and time to care for themselves outside of these appointments. When I ask "why not?" I often get the answer that they are just too busy.  Busy doing things that they feel obligated to do. Busy doing things that are not bringing them joy.

 

Some tell me they feel like it would be selfish to say no. They may believe is is wrong to honor their own needs over another's desires. They say yes as a reflex and out of obligation. 


Saying yes out of obligation (when we really want to say no) creates the energy of resentment.  And the energy of resentment can be the root of illness within ourselves. Not honoring ourselves is why so many people have chronic stress and illness. Feeling like we do not have the option to say no is really a trap of our logical mind and subjective thinking. The mind may argue about what others want or will think about us. But truly if we are in alignment with ourselves first, other will learn to respect our boundaries and decisions.

 

If we can get in touch with the truth within us it can help us to be clear so we can say no if that is best for us. The clarity of knowing what is true for us can bring us into higher self esteem and confidence.

 

 I often recommend using a technique I call Body Awareness to find the answer for within them.

 

NOTE: If you are doing this for the first time it is best to do a practice run by asking your body something that you are rock solid clear about already. So ask something that you know is a "NO" that you do not like or want to feel what "NO" feels like in you. Then do the same thing with a solid "YES" so you can feel the "YES" and understand the difference in your body awareness of what a no is like and what a yes is like. You do not want to ask the question that has been tossed around in the mind with all the arguments back and forth until you are clear on how this works. Your mind will start to second guess the entire exercise and bring in doubting. 

 

Body Awareness the first time to learn how it feels:

1) Close your eyes

2) Take 3 breaths focusing on the exhale to empty the lungs and allow the gentle inhale 

3) Mentally let go and clear out expectations

4) Tune into your body and feel the sensation of your body and your energy within your body

5) Imagine something that you love to do and/or say to yourself "I am going to ___________" and feel how this feels in your body - this is your YES!

6) Imagine something you do not like to do and/or say to yourself  "I am going to ____________" and feel how this feels in your body - this is your NO!

 

How did those feel? Where they different? Did one feel better than the other?

Typically a YES feels good, relaxing, exciting, joyful and expansive.

Typically a NO feels uncomfortable, tight, heavy, constricting, sinking, like a ball of lead or twisting tension.

 

Now that you know the yes and no sensations you can calming do the exercise to see what your Body Awareness says if your yes or no for specific situations in your life. 

 

Body Awareness

1) Close your eyes

2) Take 3 breaths focusing on the exhale to empty the lungs and allow the gentle inhale 

3) Mentally let go and clear out expectations

4) Tune into your body and feel the sensation of your body and your energy within your body

5) For whatever your question is that you are conflicted about, you make up a statement in clear terms for each option.

 

For example two options for a job offer:

"I am accepting the sales manager job position at ABC Office"

"I am declining the sales manager job position at ABC Office"

 

6) Feel how each option feels in your body. HINT: the one that felt good is the statement that is your YES!

 

Using the simple tool of checking in with your body awareness for your answers does not take long and it is easy to do. It will pull you out of your logical/subjective thinking that may push you toward: overbooking yourself, agreeing to things you are not really comfortable doing, or agreeing to things that are not in your highest good.  Body awareness helps you find your true yes or no for yourself. 

 

Metamorphosis Holistic Health LLC  copyright 2017 http://www.metaholistic.com

https://www.facebook.com/pg/KathleenStonemanAcupuncturist

 

 

 

 

 

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